


Oracle

by writingandchocolatemilk



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods, Alternate Universe - Humans, Framano, Francis Bonnefoy - Freeform, Lovino Vargas - Freeform, M/M, Requests, god AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingandchocolatemilk/pseuds/writingandchocolatemilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Lovino,” Francis purred, the door shutting behind him, “It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you.” He hesitated. “Where is that other delightful little treat that has been meeting with me…?”</p><p>“I don’t know Francis,” Lovino said, and his voice could have peeled paint, “Why don’t you tell me? Oh, wait, you fucked her."</p><p>Lovino is not amused. Oracles are hard to come by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oracle

Ｔｈｅ  ｐｅｒｓｏｎ  ａｐｐｌｙｉｎｇ  ｍｕｓｔ  ｂｅ  ａｂｌｅ  ｔｏ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ  ｓｅｘｕａｌ  ａｄｖａｎｃｅｓ． 

Lovino hated his job. He smiled, nodded stiffly, wrote down the question and accepted the check. People asked for the dumbest shit—please heal my cat, let my garden grow, let me pass this test. But _Gods_ , did it pay well.

Lovino chewed on a paperclip, waiting in the conference room. The red door on the far end of the table didn’t have a handle. Lovino wondered if anyone had ever been locked out, looking back over their shoulder before kicking the door in. _Modeled after their image_ and all that; they must make mistakes, too.

Finally, the red door cracked open and Francis stepped out, tossing his hair. Lovino had heard stories that it was only a few years ago that the robes were exchanged for suits. Still, Francis probably would have looked good even with a sheet on.

“Lovino,” Francis purred, the door shutting behind him, “It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you.” He hesitated. “Where is that other delightful little treat that has been meeting with me…?”

“I don’t know Francis,” Lovino said, and his voice could have peeled paint, “Why don’t you tell me? Oh, wait, you fucked her. That’s why she’s not here—both of you broke the rules.” Lovino flipped through his files. “Fucking _idiots_ ,” he breathed.

Francis sighed, strolling across the floor. The very room seemed warmer with his presence. Lovino watched primly as Francis poured himself into one of the chairs, sprawling out. His suit was impeccable, though; something Armani couldn’t top, something no one could.

“It’s not my fault!” Francis sighed wistfully. “She was so funny, always crossing her legs and playing with her pigtails. I could not help myself—it was love! She was so happy to talk about fishing and the beach. You have met her, seen her.”

Lovino pulled out the form for Francis. “It wasn’t love, it was _sex_. She was one of the better Oracles, but I guess you can just fucking ignore that and do what you wish. Now it’s up to _me_ to find another ass who can deal with you.”

“You know, that attitude isn’t very attractive,” Francis said.

Lovino rolled his eyes, meeting Francis’ gaze. “I thought you’re supposed to find everyone attractive. Kiss my ass. Now, can we get to work?”

For a moment, Lovino worried he had pushed it too much. But Francis’ face softened and he flicked his hand for Lovino to continue, posing and adjusting himself in the chair. His hair wasn’t tied back.

“’My wife and I are fighting, and we hardly ever have sex. Can you please give me advice on how to fix things? Love her to death, but I’m not sure what she wants from me.’” Lovino paused, “He offered some of his rent payment.”

Francis tilted his head. “Sometimes, ships sail ahead of their proper alignment, and the cargo rattles and there’s the terrible dripping.”

The paper clip in Lovino’s mouth caught a tooth the wrong way. Lovino cursed under his breath, writing down an edited version of what Francis had said. Some of the other Gods were less vague, but Francis’ statements, if correctly interpreted, usually yielded better results.

Lovino read a few more, but Francis’ answers became vaguer and shorter. Eventually, Lovino threw the forms on the table, running a hand over his face.

“Alright, look, I know you’re upset or whatever, but can you at least fucking _try_ to give me a little something more than cactus quips?” Lovino capped his pen, the paperclip catching the same tooth. 

“Not many people can resist me,” Francis said, tossing his hair and smiling. “It’s interesting to find someone who’s able to focus.” Francis examined his fingernails, clicking his tongue. “I’ve seen the ads you put out for the job.”

Despite himself, Lovino felt his mouth pull into a smile. “Do you just wandering around the fucking town? Yeah, I put out ads.”

Francis grinned back at Lovino. “Do you want me to have no fun at all? Sexual advances—that’s not what I do. I simply talk to beautiful people about beautiful things. Nice suits, perhaps.” He adjusted his tie. “You like what you see?”

Immediately, Lovino’s smile fell from his face. “Francis—“

Francis jumped up, spinning. Yes, it was a fine suit, Lovino reflected. Dark material that seemed to shimmer in the light. Glossy, sleek, it went beyond expensive into something ethereal. And the tie—so red it looked like it had been dipped in blood.

“This is how I see people,” Francis said, snapping Lovino out of his revere. “Everyone is a fine tailored suit. Beautiful, well made, unique. Is that wrong?”

Lovino raised one shoulder in a shrug. He slid down in his seat slightly, sighing. “Well, I prefer suits.”

Francis quirked an eyebrow.

The replacement assured Lovino that he was of a different caliber—nothing could seduce _him_. He was one-hundred percent straight. Lovino wasn’t surprised when the replacement broke after two meetings.

Another ad:

Ｔｈｅ  ｐｅｒｓｏｎ  ａｐｐｌｙｉｎｇ  ｍｕｓｔ  ｂｅ  ａｂｌｅ  ｔｏ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ  ａｎｙ  ｆｏｒｍ  ｏｆ  ａｔｔｒａｃｔｉｏｎ． 

Lovino didn’t complain when a package arrived at his building with no address. Inside was one of the finest suits Lovino had ever felt, the color a grey that broke out over a beach before dawn.

Francis sure as hell never saw Lovino wearing that suit. 


End file.
